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If I lose you, all those moments, where I assumed the risk, where I pushed through the pain to do life with you, were wasted.
I choose to assume the risk because I feel that my life is about those moments in between the overwhelming pain.
That’s the thing with chronic pain, it will come, it will devastate and it doesn’t care what you think.
Brushing my teeth hurts, taking a shower is just not manageable, remembering to eat/drink is nearly impossible. I hate that my pain controls me, and those who love me.
Recently, I’ve stopped texting/calling people that never text me first, and let me tell you, that was a harsh reality to face. Friends are not forever, but if you’d like them to be, show them you care, don’t just tell them.
I had noticed for the last year, that I was losing my hair, not enough that someone would notice, but enough that it scared me.
Whether we see each other again, whether I ever cross your mind, I’ll remember you.